Thoughts after my first breakup (my letters to you, never sent) 

Excerpts from Oct 30 to Dec 15 2015 

Distance makes the heart grow fonder, so why the fuck did I fly to the other side of the world. 

I want some proof that you weren’t lying when you said you were gonna be thinking of me and that you missed me already. I wanna know that you have been thinking about me because otherwise I’m just a fool for being such a fool for you. I guess that’s what I wanted though, to be a fool. I’m such a fool. 

I asked you what this means and you said you didn’t know, do you still not know? Because I’m still asking… 

What I regret the most is telling you I loved you when I didn’t… 

I still like you but I don’t miss you. I don’t know what that means.

We have good memories, but I’m selfish and I want to make more of them with you. 

You were the first and therefore the best and worst and everything in between and more. I loved you and I hated you and I needed you and I despised your company. I have little to compare you to, but I don’t feel like I need a ruler to measure against. I just want you. For now at least. Just us. For now. At the least…