May 2 2017
My psychologist said I look “Westernized”… like I know what means
Did she mean I look white? I wasn’t wearing a bindi or a saree so I must not be Indian?
And my optometrist said he could tell I wasn’t white from looking at the pigment in the back of my eyes… he said he wanted to ask my heritage and would have never guessed what I told him
He said I look “yellow like him”… I didn’t know what that meant since he was Greek.
I don’t get what it’s supposed to mean when people (adults) tell me things about myself and my race
Am I meant to be complimented when people say that “my mix is so interesting”
I don’t get it
My optometrist also said that everybody is mixed now and that none of them are really that interesting
I try to play along with these conversations but in reality its just a routine part of my day
It feels like when people ask me about my mix (aka where my parents are from), theyre really asking why am I not more white looking? Why am I not more brown looking? Why am I here? Why should they be interested in my existence on the MOST superficial and basic aspects of my existence?
Being mixed has shaped my entire view on the world (naturally) because I don’t really belong in any nice neat box to check off
So when one of the first things I get asked by strangers/ doctors/ anyone is about my racial mix, then it kinda makes you feel like shit
Like my value is in this answer and that I better make it interesting